shadows_have_offended | Que sera, sera - whatever will be will be

The news took a while to settle and, honestly, Neil still isn't entirely sure what to do with the knowledge. He's a college student now--or, rather, will be in September. He doesn't sign up for classes for months yet, but he's already looked over the catalog at least three times, trying to think what he'd like to do, now that he knows what he wants to do. It's all a huge relief, in a way. Maybe he can do Shakespeare in the Park again this summer. Maybe things will start to shape up more brightly.

In any case, he's celebrating. He sent out texts to all his friends, promising music and drinks and food--and a dog--to be shared by all. He tidied up a little, even, not that his apartment is ever very out of order in the first place. He doesn't really know how to decorate for a party like this, so he doesn't bother. Just makes sure there's lots of food and that the drinks are neatly arranged and that Beau's crate is set up in the bedroom, covered but open, so he can disappear if he'd like to.

He's not sure who all will come, but that doesn't really matter. He's just excited that he got in. It's the next step in his life, and it's his own step. That deserves to be celebrated no matter what.

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Guy says it like that and Neil smiles and laughs a little. He finds Benji in the crowd, talking with a coworker, and leans over a little to discretely point him out. The burnished blond curls, the broad shoulders and earnest face; Benji’s exceedingly handsome, and was so shy and charming when they met at the club that Neil couldn’t help being rude with him in the bathroom that same night.

“There,” he says. “That’s Benji.”

Benji seemed a picture of Arian perfection, the sort the Duke of Windsor and his consorts would drool over, sporting purely platonic hard-ons at the sight of those broad shoulders and impossibly blue eyes. In any case, Guy could certainly see the appeal as well.

"Oh!" Guy gasped. "I wouldn't mind a taste of him either."

Neil laughs neatly and smiles, hardly affronted by the comment. If Guy hadn’t found him handsome, Neil might have been concerned for his friend’s health.

“You’re welcome to give it a try,” he says. “But he’s awful shy.”

"Those are the best, dear," Guy assured. "Its divine when the red of their cheeks meets the...well, red of their cheeks," he quipped as he pinched Neil's arse to explain his point.

Neil snorts a little, having to look away from Benji so it doesn't seem like he's laughing at his expense in case he glances over. He'll admit that he feels a bit of a mess, keeping all these men in some sort of balance. But he's having fun for the moment, and is quite certain none of them are interested in anything more serious. No need to make the same mistake twice.

"Well, I definitely can't take French now," he quips. "I'll spend the whole class thinking about that."

Guy never minded people knowing he was laughing at their expense, so he didn't look away and winked at the boy when their eyes met. "Easier too," he added. "Unless you wouldn't mind being in the same class as a past fuck, or lover."

"Oh, I wasn't worried about that, I suppose." He wasn't worried about Gabriel, at least. He's moved on, and Neil's--well, Neil's fucking other people, so that's a bit like moving on (except when it isn't).

He laughs softly. "I, uh. Actually I went to meet Benji after class the other day and realized they're in the same session and everything. They have study group together sometimes. So at least I'd already gotten that out of the way."

Guy wasn't talking of Gabriel, but every conversation turned to that Irish blonde one way or another. 'Moved on' wasn't quite the wording Guy would use. Guy only meant that he would be stuck in a class with Benji long after the fun had passed.

"I was talking of Banjo, dear. But, yes, Gabriel too."

Neil's hardly worried about being in a class with Benji, even once things have run their course, so he only shrugs a little bit. He does roll his eyes just a little bit at the teasing name.

"It's not like I'm seeing Benji," he says with a shrug, voice soft. He's been very clear on that with him.

Guy saw a look on Benji's face and that look didn't seem very convinced of the casual nature of their affair. But Neil could figure that out. "I hope he knows," he said. "You wouldn't want to crush his big shy heart."

Neil's perfectly aware of Benji's quiet infatuation in the same way that he's aware of Ellie's. It's nice to be wanted. He's enjoying it while it lasts, especially from such handsome boys.

"I've told him," he says rather plainly. "I'm not seeing anyone right now, it uncomplicates things."

In fact, it probably complicated it more, but that's neither here nor there.

Elliot was easily charmed and he loved all the attention given to him by the out-of-towners. It was easy to fall for sweet Neil, especially since he was getting more and more convinced that Guy was growing tired of him. He never held any illusions that he was the only one for the man, but he did always feel appreciated. A while back he asked him where their relationship was going. Guy had laughed in his face. 'I am going out' he had said before leaving for the night. Neil was sweet and perhaps hooking up with him was a little bit of revenge (Guy did seem to be particularly fond of Neil). In any case, it hadn't affected Guy at all, leaving Elliot to wonder what he was doing still with the Englishman. Except that was a very difficult trail of thought to maintain when Guy was being sweet, fun and charming.

"I'm just saying, lovely," Guy told Neil. "They can get awfully attached." Ellie, for example, had grown quite ridiculously attached, and while Guy did like him very much, there was no need for silliness.

It seemed a terribly silly warning, since Neil knows. He tends to be the one that gets attached, though, and while he knows that Ellie and Benji are a bit more attached than he'd like, he's trying desperately to just exist, just breathe.

"It will work out however it's ought to," he says with a smile. "And be fun while it lasts."

The warning was for Neil, who could also get awfully attached. So, Guy was pleased Neil knew not to get too invested. "I'm sure it is," he replied wickedly. "Don't wear the poor boy out too much."

Neil's well aware of his own failings with that. But for the moment, he's still stupidly attached on the most unattainable boy--and, in very different ways, with Guy. He's getting much better at trying to be distant while still being attainable. Focus on the fun, and he can get through anything.

"Oh, I suppose I can go easy on them."

Oh, and Guy was rather attached to Neil as well, in his fashion. But he was always better at giving advice than taking it.

He laughed. "I'm glad you're doing so well," he said, passing a hand through Neil's hair.

He's trying, at least, making a valiant effort at ignoring all else in favor of more pleasant things. His education, his stupid cafe job, this tangled mess of men he's entertaining. Yes, he's doing alright these days, even on the hard ones.

"Better than the alternative." He smiles as he says it, leaning into Guy just a little bit. Sometimes it's fun to be dark about his fate. Tonight, surrounded by good people and peppy music, is one of them.

"I should certainly hope so," Guy agreed. He could het quite angry at Neil's chosen fate, but not tonight. He could agree with it and laugh tonight.

Que sera, sera - whatever will be will be

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